as strong as i am pretending to be.
not even a little bit.


and i dont know what to do about anything,
im about to run away.
because everything i knew
my security
my other half
was ripped away.
and im not ok.



im really not okay.

a new era.
fuck you ren.
and fate has lead you to this
you do what you have to do.
im not speaking to you for a long time.
time will tell.


and im just hurt.
all i do is cry.

From Abby.

"I LOVE STEPHANIE COSBY SOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!
SHE IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING.


I LOVE DANCE TEAM WITH HER
AND BALANCING THOSE CHEMICAL EQUATIONS
IS REALLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS!!!
YEAH SHE'S THE BEST!!!!
YOU LOSE SHE WINS GET OVER IT LOL

<333333333333 "


From Keesler.

"lies.
you arent in love with that song.
its really me you are in love with.
its okay steph,
you can admit it now.
im ready.
XD"

So fuck you guys.
=)

NOW I get it. I knew there was something going on.




Aaaand thats about it. Going to see the printing people today. Gotta work on theee *dundundun* MAP!


EDIT
*sighs again*
Thanks for not calling me.

Persevere.






..*scoffs*
I'll be lucky if I make it.

*sighs*
Don't you hate looking at those little details that just help you realize just the magnitude of what you've done?


We're definantly going to Vermont.
The snow storm went away.
I feel like crying.
Going there is the last thing I need right now.
I get to smile and prance around and be lonely for hours on end.
OH I'm sorry. I get to be with my Mother. And Father. And Grandparents. And Uncle. And his wife.
Oh *claps* FUCKING yay.

I am praying for a musical device.

Hello depressing sketchbook pages.

The dance team <3

A DAY

A1: Trig & Prob Stat - Apape
A2: AP English - Kubu
A3& A4: Senior Production Crapcrap - Buhner

B DAY
B1: Chemistry - Cook
B2: 1st Semester: Printmaking - Holman
2nd Semester: Make Up - Wolf
B3: Ap Gov - DROPPING that. Hahaha
B4: Create your world - Wolf

I rushed to rehersal.
Rushed to Laurens.
Rushed my henna art.
Rushed home.
Rushed to take a shower.
Rusehd to be here.
Because I wanna make sure we have time to see each other.
=D

In the immortal words of Gertrude McFuzz:

"Well; It's a long story."


Work sucked.
Last night in general kinda sucked.
And this morning sucked.

But!
I'm looking at things this way-
right after rehersal, I get to go see Allie.
Allie = :D<3 x 3474384721049712478563
Things improving follow closely after.
Oh and Dianna. You don't know how much the phone call last night meant to me.
Thanks.... for everything.
xD
<333

I woke up at 11 this morning... my mom told me to sleep in when I came home last night. I was going to paint... but I realized I was far too tired. I didn't even stay awake long enough to talk to Brittani again because our conversation was cut short due to outside circumstances.
I'm putting music on my Mp3 player. Because the last time I really listened to it was in April.. maybe even far back as March. So most of the music, though good, is outdated. And as much as I loved Charlie Brown, I don't wanna listen to the music.. xD
And Gwen Stefani has some really catchy tunes. ^.^;
Wind it up!
hahaha. xD

Jeez I'm so tired.
Work at 6.

Jfrghsughlsgfjskssss.
I think too much.

this is the reason why i have paint on me.

Yea.
working on monologues if funn...
school is funnnn..


*positive*

...*i think*

Dear everyone...
I deleted my myspace.
For real this time.

I don't think I will be writing in here for a while either.
I need to get things worked out.

<3Me.


www.midnightrain.net